It occurs to me that I have been a very bad blogger and need a firm slap on the wrist. However, watching Julie and Julia today with my sister, made me realize I must change my ways and get back to something that makes me happy...writing.
Speaking of change, it seems to be in the air these days. I was reflecting on my life and friendships and realized just how much has changed in the past few months. My sister and I have both been out of work for nearly two months. Good riddance but a serious financial hardship none-the-less. We have both had interview upon interview and as I write this, I am waiting to hear about a seasonal job with Nordstroms. Whether I get the job or not, it means I will no longer be working with my sister, something I'd been doing part-time since 2002 and full-time since 2007. It wasn't my intention when I moved here to work with her; after-all, we have very different temperaments, talents, and goals. But, there's been an invaluable sense of safety and support. Now, its back out into the working world on my own. Time to put on the big-girl panties and deal with life straight on. (Side-note: As I'm writing this, I've gotten notice that I've been hired as a blogger for the local theater scene. It's not a job I can live on, but I'll be paid to write. CHANGES!)
Babies, babies everywhere and not a diaper to change. As I was pondering the massive change in my surroundings, I realized how many friends have little ones either recently born or expected. If my calculations are correct, there are three new lives within the last three months, and four on the way. Astounding! My congrats to all and WELCOME to the beautiful little wonders. It puts all sorts of focus on my ticking clock, however, and encourages continual self-examination. How many more years do you have, Rachel, to safely have a baby? Do you want to be a mother? Do you want this man to be the father of said hypothetical baby? Look at your finances! Do you think you could afford to have a child now, even if you wanted one?!? That line of thought usually leads into...Where is your life going? Are you where you want to be? Are you where you're supposed to be? What do you want?!? All good questions, but sometimes more than I can handle. I think Dan is a saint for putting up with my over-active mind.
I tend to believe in the super-natural. This created one of the loveliest connections between a former co-worker and myself. She was the office guru when it came to astrology. Before my tenure at Commencement Health Care ended, we were discussing what was going on out in the universe. She said there was some kind of huge return -- Saturn perhaps -- that was shaking everything up and leaving chaos in its wake, but it would be an opportunity to create the life that you wanted if you used it that way. That's how I'm going to use all this change. Keep what works and replace what doesn't. Embrace it...as scary as it can be.
What changes have happened in your life recently?
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Depression in a Good Life
So, life's been good lately. BUSY, but good!
After the struggles I had with Fat Pig (which is really an entire blog unto itself), I worked it out in time to open to very enthusiastic audiences. The nightly talk-backs are educational if nothing else. But, as I said, another blog for another time.
A little over two weeks ago, a months long flirting dance final materialized into a first date. And thank God it did!! Ladies and Gentlemen, I'd like you to meet Dan.
He is a gem. Truly! He is the most caring, genuine, and wonderful man I've ever met! He treats me so well, I don't know quite what to do with myself. I've taken up residence on Cloud Nine and happy days are here again! Almost...
Last night, about mid-evening, I hit a low. It seemed to come from nowhere. So, the self-examination began:
Depression medicine taken...check
In love...check
Enough sleep...check
Doing theatre...check
Money issues...as always -- OK this could be contributing to it
Eating well...ch...well...no...too many carbs lately, OK -- another possible culprit
PMS...who the hell knows
OK -- so there are three possible culprits right there. Dan did his best to shake me out of the mood (and did quite well actually), but it just seemed to persist. I woke this morning in such a funk, I realized something needs to change. So time to make some changes in order to create the idyllic life that finally seems possible.
On the nutritional front -- I was thinking about when I was on THE DIET this past summer and how even my mood was. As I've been adding things back in to my eating patterns -- things that I am well aware should be eaten in moderation if at all -- I'm finding my depression sneaking back in. As I began to research the mood/nutrition balancing act today, I found this valuable piece of info:
Nancy Appleton, in Lick the Sugar Habit pointed out that sugar drains your body of its nutritional resources. (2, pp.12-20)
Consuming sugar and simple carbohydrates -- such as white breads and pastries -- also cause your blood sugar to rise quickly.
Then, your body releases insulin and glucagon to break down the sugar, controlling its level in your blood. If too much insulin and glucagon are released, your blood sugar level can drop too low, a condition called hypoglycemia.
Michael Murray, N.D., wrote in his book, which addresses depression diet problems, Natural Alternatives to Prozac, "Hypoglycemia (low blood sugar) is another common cause of depression...The association between hypoglycemia and depression is largely ignored by most physicians -- they simply never even consider it as a possibility despite the fact that several studies have shown hypoglycemia to be very common in depressed individuals." (10, p. 77)
Other substances that cause depression diet problems -- such as caffeine, nicotine, food colorings, and preservatives -- destroy nutrients, over stimulate your bodies glands, interfere with the way your body processes nutrients, weaken your immune system, and cause other harmful effects which contribute to depression.
That says pretty loud and clear to stay the heck away from the carbs, does it not?! Oh, and the...gulp...caffiene! That one is going to hurt!! AND HEY! I know, how about I start taking my vitamins again on a regular basis. That's a great idea. I'll update the blog as I learn more. Sound good?
Financial -- that's always a tricky one isn't it? But if any of my buds out there in cyberland are good at creating and managing a budget, I'd love the help. It's time to get this straight and stop the struggling and hand-to-mouth mentality. I'd love to hear from my fellow artists out there. Do you think we fall into the hand-to-mouth trap because of what we do or despite it?
PMS -- Well, all of us women and the people that love us struggle through this one. Not a ton to be done about it. Bare with me baby!
To wrap up: Even though I feel I shouldn't be phased by this anymore, I am once again surprised by the depth of the mind/body connection. Fascinating!
AND --
The following song has been bouncing around my brain for the past week or so. I thought I'd share:
-- A Wonderful Guy --
Nellie:
I expect everyone of my crowd to make fun
Of my proud protestations of faith in romance,
And they'll say I'm naive as a babe to believe
Every fable I hear from a person in pants.
Fearlessly I'll face them and argue their doubts away,
Loudly I'll sing about flowers in spring,
Flatly I'll stand on my little flat feet and say
Love is a grand and a beautiful thing!
I'm not ashamed to reveal
The world famous feelin' I feel.
I'm as corny as Kansas in August,
I'm as normal as blueberry pie.
No more a smart little girl with no heart,
I have found me a wonderful guy!
I am in a conventional dither,
With a conventional star in my eye.
And you will note there's a lump in my throat
When I speak of that wonderful guy!
I'm as trite and as gay as a daisy in May,
A cliché comin' true!
I'm bromidic and bright
As a moon-happy night
Pourin' light on the dew!
I'm as corny as Kansas in August,
High as a flag on the Fourth of July!
If you'll excuse an expression I use,
I'm in love, I'm in love,
I'm in love, I'm in love,
I'm in love with a wonderful guy!
I'm as trite and as gay as a daisy in May,
A cliché comin' true!
I'm bromidic and bright
As a moon-happy night
Pourin' light on the dew!
If you'll excuse an expression I use,
I'm in love,
I'm in love,
I'm in love,
I'm in love,
I'm in love with a wonderful guy!
Here's wishing you all a very lovely day!
After the struggles I had with Fat Pig (which is really an entire blog unto itself), I worked it out in time to open to very enthusiastic audiences. The nightly talk-backs are educational if nothing else. But, as I said, another blog for another time.
A little over two weeks ago, a months long flirting dance final materialized into a first date. And thank God it did!! Ladies and Gentlemen, I'd like you to meet Dan.
He is a gem. Truly! He is the most caring, genuine, and wonderful man I've ever met! He treats me so well, I don't know quite what to do with myself. I've taken up residence on Cloud Nine and happy days are here again! Almost...
Last night, about mid-evening, I hit a low. It seemed to come from nowhere. So, the self-examination began:
Depression medicine taken...check
In love...check
Enough sleep...check
Doing theatre...check
Money issues...as always -- OK this could be contributing to it
Eating well...ch...well...no...too many carbs lately, OK -- another possible culprit
PMS...who the hell knows
OK -- so there are three possible culprits right there. Dan did his best to shake me out of the mood (and did quite well actually), but it just seemed to persist. I woke this morning in such a funk, I realized something needs to change. So time to make some changes in order to create the idyllic life that finally seems possible.
On the nutritional front -- I was thinking about when I was on THE DIET this past summer and how even my mood was. As I've been adding things back in to my eating patterns -- things that I am well aware should be eaten in moderation if at all -- I'm finding my depression sneaking back in. As I began to research the mood/nutrition balancing act today, I found this valuable piece of info:
Nancy Appleton, in Lick the Sugar Habit pointed out that sugar drains your body of its nutritional resources. (2, pp.12-20)
Consuming sugar and simple carbohydrates -- such as white breads and pastries -- also cause your blood sugar to rise quickly.
Then, your body releases insulin and glucagon to break down the sugar, controlling its level in your blood. If too much insulin and glucagon are released, your blood sugar level can drop too low, a condition called hypoglycemia.
Michael Murray, N.D., wrote in his book, which addresses depression diet problems, Natural Alternatives to Prozac, "Hypoglycemia (low blood sugar) is another common cause of depression...The association between hypoglycemia and depression is largely ignored by most physicians -- they simply never even consider it as a possibility despite the fact that several studies have shown hypoglycemia to be very common in depressed individuals." (10, p. 77)
Other substances that cause depression diet problems -- such as caffeine, nicotine, food colorings, and preservatives -- destroy nutrients, over stimulate your bodies glands, interfere with the way your body processes nutrients, weaken your immune system, and cause other harmful effects which contribute to depression.
That says pretty loud and clear to stay the heck away from the carbs, does it not?! Oh, and the...gulp...caffiene! That one is going to hurt!! AND HEY! I know, how about I start taking my vitamins again on a regular basis. That's a great idea. I'll update the blog as I learn more. Sound good?
Financial -- that's always a tricky one isn't it? But if any of my buds out there in cyberland are good at creating and managing a budget, I'd love the help. It's time to get this straight and stop the struggling and hand-to-mouth mentality. I'd love to hear from my fellow artists out there. Do you think we fall into the hand-to-mouth trap because of what we do or despite it?
PMS -- Well, all of us women and the people that love us struggle through this one. Not a ton to be done about it. Bare with me baby!
To wrap up: Even though I feel I shouldn't be phased by this anymore, I am once again surprised by the depth of the mind/body connection. Fascinating!
AND --
The following song has been bouncing around my brain for the past week or so. I thought I'd share:
-- A Wonderful Guy --
Nellie:
I expect everyone of my crowd to make fun
Of my proud protestations of faith in romance,
And they'll say I'm naive as a babe to believe
Every fable I hear from a person in pants.
Fearlessly I'll face them and argue their doubts away,
Loudly I'll sing about flowers in spring,
Flatly I'll stand on my little flat feet and say
Love is a grand and a beautiful thing!
I'm not ashamed to reveal
The world famous feelin' I feel.
I'm as corny as Kansas in August,
I'm as normal as blueberry pie.
No more a smart little girl with no heart,
I have found me a wonderful guy!
I am in a conventional dither,
With a conventional star in my eye.
And you will note there's a lump in my throat
When I speak of that wonderful guy!
I'm as trite and as gay as a daisy in May,
A cliché comin' true!
I'm bromidic and bright
As a moon-happy night
Pourin' light on the dew!
I'm as corny as Kansas in August,
High as a flag on the Fourth of July!
If you'll excuse an expression I use,
I'm in love, I'm in love,
I'm in love, I'm in love,
I'm in love with a wonderful guy!
I'm as trite and as gay as a daisy in May,
A cliché comin' true!
I'm bromidic and bright
As a moon-happy night
Pourin' light on the dew!
If you'll excuse an expression I use,
I'm in love,
I'm in love,
I'm in love,
I'm in love,
I'm in love with a wonderful guy!
Here's wishing you all a very lovely day!
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